Category: Movies

Watched “Invincible” on DVD. This was one piece of crap. Never ever rent or buy this piece. You’ll be better.

It is some strange arrangement of bad parodies on martial arts, superheros, and gay smiles that was supposed to be shown on TV. Well, I don’t know if it ever made it to the screen, but I am really sorry if it did. Things like this should be kept in private collections of those people who produce them. And they should be guarded more than any biggest family secret.

Not only this film fails to delivery anything on the martial arts (no matter how hard it tries) and superheros (although it has more than 5), it makes the whole watching while very long, boring, and painful experience. And I mean painful. Especially for the eyes. With all those stroboscopes. (What is with people and stroboscopes these days?). I mean, I really had to put my eyes on the lightnings of the thunderstorm outside for them to rest.

Verdict: 2 out of 10. If they will give you a choice of torture and of watching this film – choose the torture. This film should be only seen if you life is in absolute danger. No other reason counts! :)

Watched “Ken Park” on DVD. There was a question on DVD cover that asked if this film was a pornography or erotic art. Well, it was neither.

It is not exactly a movie, since you there are a bunch of people wondering around having “tough” life during the whole film. Most of these people are teenagers. And than these teenagers spend a considerable amount of time exploring sexual niche. They have sex, they masturbate, the watch pornographic magazines, etc.

It is not exactly a pornography either. It has way too much of a story attempt and too many dialogs in there. Maybe this is just this kind of pornography, with dark sides, and sexual scenes every 10 minutes instead of every 10 seconds. Maybe I am just getting old.

Anyway, if you are thinking to rent this for it pornographic value, then I have to warn you. There are scenes of

• old, ugly, drunk male peeing
• young, ugly, sober male masturbating while strangling himself and watching tennis video
• incest, where old, ugly, male (yup, the one from the first point) is trying to give oral pleasure to his son (no, not the one from the second point) while that dude is sleeping. The scene is pretty short though.
• horny, dirty, teenage girl attempting to have sex with teenage girl. That one is interrupted by girl’s father coming in and kicking boy’s butt a lot
• a few scenes of two teenage boys having sex with one teenage girl (yeah, sounds pornish, but they are all depressed and talking too much about life)
• few more of the like

If I were you, I would decide what do you want to rent: a movie or some porn. With either choice there are better options in ANY rental. This piece sucked. Maxed out at 4 out of 10.

I watched “The First $20 Million Is Always the Hardest” on DVD. It is a nice comedy about computer geeks at the time of dotcom bubble.

There is a part in this film, when one of the guys says something along the lines of “It is not tomorrow’s computer, it is yesterday’s prototype.”. Meanwhile a group of geeks was fighting to produce something genius AND usable by regular people. Well, this movie is not a movie, it is a prototype. It has a good idea and a number of good scenes and jokes. But it has a number of rough edges too. I would really love to see this movie redone, fixed, and polished. It will have a chance to become my favourite computer humour movie.

I really liked how computer guys were shown, how Silicon Valley was shown (although I never was in Silicon Valley and I am not planning to, but this kind of what I imagine it to be), how corporations tricked startups and non-business people, and a few other things. Relationships were a little bit underdeveloped and … naive. Acting was a bit sucky too.

Anyways, film had enough pace and jokes to keep me entertained and for that I give it 6 out of 10. It has much more potential than that though.

Olga and I watched “Tempo” on DVD. You probably haven’t even heard about this film. It is not that popular on IMDB. I even had to get the picture from Amazon DVD collection. Anyway, it’s not that well-known and there are reasons for this.

The movie sucks. It has a nice story and an excellent production (everything shot in Paris, great camera work, excellent lights, and glueing shots). Even acting is more or less OK. But it is unbelievably unfullfilling. Good story is told in a bad way. Very simplistic and transparent. No details. Lots of stupidity. I think I’ve said “Is she stupid?” and “What are they doing?” about a two hundred times during the course of the film. Lots of nonsense that is.

Did I say it was unfulfilling? Well, I’ll explain that. Although the movie lasts 85 minutes (which is pretty much close to the average), it feels like it is about 40 minutes long. When it ends, you go like “And that’s it? What’s the point? Eh…”.

I am rating it as 4 out of 10 for some visual pleasure. But not a point more. Skip this one. Unless you are stoned or something.