Scott Adams on everything from airplane security to politics

If you’ve smiled with Heather Armstrong and like that, you better check Scott Adams’ blog, because this guys is as hilarious as noone. Really. Here are a couple of examples.

This post provides an insight on the war in the Middle East. It explains the roots of the problem, as well suggests a solution. A tiny quote:

How would you like to be Condi Rice? It’s your job to stop the fighting in Lebanon. That’s one super-crappy job. Luckily for her, I’m here to help.

It’s a strange little war in the sense that neither side can win, and they both know it. Hizbollah can’t destroy Israel and Israel can’t destroy Hizbollah. And neither side can afford to give up. So in the meantime, since no one can win or lose, they settle for killing as many random civilians as possible because that’s one thing they can do. The thinking, I gather, is that killing random people and never winning is still better than doing nothing and looking weak.

I see this as part of a trend. The U.S. couldn’t kill Osama, so we whacked Saddam instead. Maybe all future wars will be fought by killing whoever does the worst job of hiding and also kind of sucks. That way you appear tough in the eyes of the world. And let’s face it – that’s the whole point. If you can’t defeat your actual enemy, at least kick the crap out of some a-hole that desperately deserves it. It’s better than doing nothing.

If that wasn’t funny enough, here is some heavy artillery from this post, that talks about airplane securty.

On the way home from my Disney cruise with the family, Grandma unwisely packed a toy pistol (Pirates of the Caribbean model) in our 6-year old’s carry-on luggage. As you might imagine, this caused a delay. So even though the toy gun was shaped like a banana and yellow and clearly plastic, the security official explained why we couldn’t take it: “People can take these souvenir guns and modify them on the plane to shoot.”

Did I mention it was plastic? And yellow? And shaped like a banana? It shoots suction darts.

I decided not to apply my world-class powers of sarcasm in this situation because I didn’t want some guy with a hairy neck to stick a gloved hand up my sphincter, grab my heart and turn me inside out.

Go and read it in full. And if you won’t laugh out loud, with tears in your eyes, you have a totally different sense of humor from the normal one (read: the one I have).