Every time I think that Heather can’t be any funnier, she blogs again and proves me wrong. Here’s the paragraph from one of her recent entries:
She’s a much different teenager than she was a young kid in that now she seems to be an actual human being and not an alien savage placed here by her overlords to see if she could single-handedly destroy the Earth. Leta loves her despite her annoying Utah accent, a speech impairment that prevents her from pronouncing the middle of the word, not because she doesn’t possess the physical capability to do so, but because she’s probably never heard the middle of a word. If you haven’t ever heard a Utah accent all you need to know is that if you had to listen to 30 seconds of a local newscast you’d offer a blow job to the first person who volunteered to stab you in the ears.
I wish I could write like that. Hell, I wish more people could write like that!
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