Initial police investigation

I love Cyprus Mail dearly, and I do feel for the man in this report:

A CAR belonging to a 35-year-old man in Limassol was torched early yesterday morning, police said. The fire began at 2.30am while the car was parked outside the man’s house. Initial police investigations indicate it is a case of arson. The car was extensively damaged.

But you have to admit it that it’s not the best writing ever.  Once I read it out loud in the office, my co-workers helped out with a few other reports along the same lines.  For example:

A pedestrian was ran over by a car yesterday night in Nicosia.  The driver took off and is being looked for.  The early police report suggests it was a case of hit-and-run.

Or, this one:

A few masked man entered the branch of Hellenic Bank in Aradipou village yesterday.  They were armed with a rifle and a pistol and demanded to give them money.  A few minutes later they took off in what appeared to be a stolen vehicle, carrying over 50,000 EUR with them.  An early police report suggests it was a case of bank robbery.

Crime is not a laughing matter, but the reporting of one can sometimes bring a smile.