It’s been a long while since someone tried to scam me online. But today I got lucky. Someone knocked at my Skype door and I opened it. Here is the full transcript of the conversation. Pardon me for having some fun in the process.
[2:26:57 PM EEST] micheal2455: hello
[2:27:06 PM EEST] micheal2455: how are you
Before, when most of my online friends were technical people, a username with numbers in it pretty much guaranteed that you are talking to a spammer or scammer of some sort. But in recent years a lot of non-technical people got online and all bets are off. So, I allowed a person in.
[2:27:09 PM EEST] micheal2455: my name is micheal ofori,a regional manager of almal bank limited i discover a domant account what of 5.6MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS.Iam looking for a honest person who can help me to move this money out of were i kept it in self keeping custdy.i agree to give you 20% for your mutual help.i do not want my c0-worker to raise eyebrow toward this fund.
That’s a very standard, direct, to the point, proposition. That’s all you need to see to know with absolute certainty that you are being scammed. You have two options from now on. Either end the discussion immediately and block the person from every talking to you again, or try to scam them back, for fun, and see what they have to say. I’ve chosen the scam path.
[2:27:53 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: yeah, ok :)
[2:28:03 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: you can send it to my account – no problem :)
[2:28:31 PM EEST] micheal2455: ok but i mean the bank can monitor it
[2:29:01 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: so what do you need me to do?
[2:30:01 PM EEST] micheal2455: i need you to help me contact the manager of the self keeping company were i keep this fund
[2:30:09 PM EEST] micheal2455: they do not know that is money
[2:30:33 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: why can’t you contact him yourself?
[2:31:31 PM EEST] micheal2455: i need a foreign beneficary who can help me for dumorage fees
[2:31:57 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I don’t know what are “dumorage fees”
[2:32:36 PM EEST] micheal2455: is the fees that come for 2years this fund have been in the company
[2:33:05 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: sorry, I don’t have any money. broke. such is the economy.
[2:33:38 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: can you send me some money to my account, so I could cover these dumorage fees?
Classics, isn’t it? Here we are, with millions in reach, and we can’t find a few lousy bucks to get the treasure…
[2:33:40 PM EEST] micheal2455: how can you be brock
[2:34:06 PM EEST] micheal2455: i contact you to talk to the manager
[2:34:43 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: but I’ll have to pay the “dumorage fees”, no?
[2:34:46 PM EEST] micheal2455: and help me for the fees you are now asking me money why
[2:35:03 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: because I don’t have any money to pay the dumorage fees
[2:35:18 PM EEST] micheal2455: i need a help please to move this fund in your country
[2:35:34 PM EEST] micheal2455: you need to help me if you like
[2:36:30 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I want to help you, but I don’t have any money. Can you borrow some money and send them to my bank account? So I can cover the dumorage fees. Once I get the 20% of your transfer, I’ll pay you back.
[2:37:14 PM EEST] micheal2455: i do not have someone to borrow ok
[2:37:25 PM EEST] micheal2455: can you nhelp me to borrow there
[2:37:34 PM EEST] micheal2455: i will pay you back
[2:38:48 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I tol you, I am almost bancrupt. I borrowed from the bank, from the company I work for, from my friends and family. 20% of 5.6 million dollars would really help me out right now. But nobody will give me any money until I pay back even a bit.
[2:39:36 PM EEST] micheal2455: try to do something please
[2:39:51 PM EEST] micheal2455: or you contact person who get money to help me
You see, they don’t really look for honest and reliable people. They are looking for anyone with the money. Let’s just make sure of that by offering them several possibilities.
[2:40:52 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: ok .. how about this … you send me some of that money, I’ll pay back some of my debts and re-borrow again. I’ll send you all of it back and I will have enough to cover the fees. If your bank will notice it, you can say that it was an honest mistake. I promise I’ll transfer everything back!
[2:40:55 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: plus more.
[2:41:45 PM EEST] micheal2455: please please i keep the money in another place ok
[2:41:58 PM EEST] micheal2455: i do not want my bank to know
[2:42:09 PM EEST] micheal2455: please try to find someone ok
[2:42:19 PM EEST] micheal2455: if you are ready to help me
[2:42:57 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: listen, I can really help you out – I have several accounts in several banks. But I need to pay off something. Just send me 5,000 and it will be enough for me to clear up the way.
There were a few interruptions during the chat – micheal2455 kept going offline and back online. I don’t know if those were just network issues, or if they were passing the chat session among several people.
[2:50:35 PM EEST] micheal2455: HELLO
[2:50:50 PM EEST] micheal2455: THIS MY NUMBER IF YOU SEE SOMEONE TO HELP
[2:51:22 PM EEST] micheal2455: +233-245142072
[2:51:39 PM EEST] micheal2455: WHEN YOU GET SOMEONE I AM IN NEED OK
Interesting. I don’t remember them every sending me the phone numbers before. Usually it was only via email or other electronic means of communication. 233 is the code for Ghana.
[2:51:44 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I’m telling you .. just send me 5,000 or so .. it will be enough for me to cover things
[2:52:08 PM EEST] micheal2455: TRY TO SEND ME MESSAGE oforijeffy@yahoo.com
Oh, here comes the email address as well. I’m not obfuscating it for a reason. I hope they get all the spam they deserve.
[2:52:27 PM EEST] micheal2455: i did not have the money in my hand
[2:52:37 PM EEST] micheal2455: is in the self keeping ok
[2:53:10 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: but how are you planning to get it if you don’t control it?
[2:53:42 PM EEST] micheal2455: i keep it in another place ok
[2:53:52 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I don’t understand
[2:54:19 PM EEST] micheal2455: i just need you to help me talk to the manager of that self keeping company and discuss on how to pay the dumorrage
[2:54:34 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: why can’t you talk to him directly?
[2:55:18 PM EEST] micheal2455: i need you as beneficary
[2:55:23 PM EEST] micheal2455: foriegner ok
[2:55:35 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: ok .. I can give you my bank details and you can talk to him anyway
[2:55:54 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: for beneficiary you just need my bank accounts.. I don’t have to talk to him, do I?
[2:56:20 PM EEST] micheal2455: you are suppose to talk to him
[2:56:28 PM EEST] micheal2455: you send me a message
[2:57:04 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I don’t have to talk to him … listen, I’ve done a lot of banking – I never had to talk to anyone. I just send my IBAN and BIC and beneficiary name and it’s ok
[2:57:41 PM EEST] micheal2455: your phone number
[2:57:53 PM EEST] micheal2455: your email address
While they are trying to get the money, they don’t mind having my phone number and email address as well. Yeah, right. If you need it so much, you can find it online yourself.
[2:58:23 PM EEST] micheal2455: listen you need to contact someone who can help on fees ok
[2:58:27 PM EEST] micheal2455: to pay it
[2:58:37 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I’m not very good on the phone .. cause I am deaf. But he can skype me, same as you.
[2:58:37 PM EEST] micheal2455: so that we can move this ok
[2:59:02 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I told you, I don’t have anyone now. I need to pay something back before I can borrow again.
[2:59:05 PM EEST] micheal2455: you can send mail to me
[2:59:19 PM EEST] micheal2455: then i give you his email address
[2:59:44 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: send me some money and I will be able to borrow as much as we need. I just need to show the ITP to my bank .. the Initiative To Pay
[3:00:37 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I just pay them back 5,000 and they will allow to me borrow up to 50,000 again. I can send you all the 50,000 back immediately.
I am really proud of myself here. I just made up an acronym. I’ve heard of intents to pay before, but I have no idea if ITP acronym actually exists or is being used. I’m just projecting my knowledge of the banking system.
[3:00:37 PM EEST] micheal2455: no
[3:00:43 PM EEST] micheal2455: contact someone
[3:01:10 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: If I could, I would have done so already … I really need some of that 5.6 million dollars
[3:01:11 PM EEST] micheal2455: i do not have access on that money you do not understand you are westing my time please
[3:01:37 PM EEST] micheal2455: look for someone to help you
I’m getting bored. Nothing new is given to me, so I have to push more myself.
[3:01:43 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: no, you don’t understand. I REALLY want to help you. I have the bank accounts and all. Just find some money for me and we can do this thing.
[3:02:01 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: you are working in the bank, right? … send me some of your salary
[3:02:12 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I will pay back immediately, I promise.
[3:02:24 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: it’ll just take 3 days for the bank transfer
[3:02:31 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: or you can do it via paypal
[3:03:07 PM EEST] micheal2455: no i am now out of the bank you do not understand
[3:03:30 PM EEST] micheal2455: looking for way to receive the money in the self keeping bank
I’m starting to get more and more ideas on how get my hands on that money.
[3:04:13 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: ok, how about you come to my country and I will help you to open a bank account .. it will be like a foreign beneficiary
[3:04:18 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I know some people in the bank
[3:04:47 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: because you will have to travel, you can pay me less .. like 10%, not 20%
[3:04:49 PM EEST] micheal2455: how can i come i do not have money now to move
[3:04:57 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: too bad
[3:05:04 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I don’t have money either :(
[3:05:14 PM EEST] micheal2455: yes i am looking to get that money out
[3:05:25 PM EEST] micheal2455: you need to help me please
[3:05:34 PM EEST] micheal2455: try to find help ok
[3:05:38 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I can’t, I’m sorry ..
Now that it’s obvious we are not getting anywhere, I’m simply begging. 5,000 is nothing to a person with millions. So I just hope for some good luck and good will here.
[3:06:00 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: if you manage to get this money out, can you send me 5,000 anyway? it will be nothing for you .. you will have millions
[3:06:11 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: it will be a big help for me
[3:06:19 PM EEST] micheal2455: ok if you can get anybody to help us no problem let me look for another person
[3:06:28 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: ok
[3:06:43 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: let me know when you get them out … I will give you my bank details .. ok?
[3:06:55 PM EEST] micheal2455: yes since you dont have money to help me
[3:07:06 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: sorry :(
[3:07:23 PM EEST] micheal2455: i do not need your bank detail because you do not help me
[3:07:40 PM EEST] micheal2455: the person who help me i will not live him
[3:08:08 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: bye
[3:09:20 PM EEST] micheal2455: bye
[3:09:37 PM EEST] micheal2455: if you get help see my number call me
[3:09:49 PM EEST] micheal2455: +233-245142072
[3:10:11 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I will
By now it is almost over. I’m just trying to prolong it as much as I can. I am in my fun mode.
[3:10:27 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: which country is that?
[3:10:30 PM EEST] micheal2455: ok bye
[3:10:37 PM EEST] micheal2455: see you ok
[3:11:18 PM EEST] micheal2455: i am from accra ghana
[3:11:32 PM EEST] micheal2455: and you
[3:11:39 PM EEST] micheal2455: your country please
Yes! I got them! Now I can enjoy the company for a little bit longer. While I am at it, why not learn something new about the world? Let’s open up Wikipedia and Google Maps. I’ll link the places in the quote, but, of course, the actual chat was without any links.
[3:12:55 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: we are not far :) I am in Nigeria
[3:13:24 PM EEST] micheal2455: ok can you come to ghana
[3:13:35 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I have no money :(
[3:14:01 PM EEST] micheal2455: you are citizen of nigeria
[3:14:16 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: no
[3:14:26 PM EEST] micheal2455: you are from were
[3:14:32 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: russia
[3:14:39 PM EEST] micheal2455: ok
[3:14:55 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I came to work in nigeria .. but i am out of money now and I cannot go back
[3:15:29 PM EEST] micheal2455: you try to get money you have big friend
[3:15:49 PM EEST] micheal2455: if we do this you can go back to russia with big money
[3:16:11 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I am in Makurdi … no Russians here :(
[3:16:26 PM EEST] micheal2455: ok in makudi ok
[3:16:40 PM EEST] micheal2455: try to know what you will do ok
[3:17:14 PM EEST] micheal2455: you are in nigeria you have money then
[3:17:30 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: no, I’m telling you … I own money to everyone :(
[3:18:08 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: I came to work in university …
[3:18:17 PM EEST] Leonid Mamchenkov: benue state university
At this point the discussion ended unexpectedly. I think I pushed it too much. A Russian guy working in Nigeria at a university and having no money … I guess that doesn’t check out. Or maybe university professors are fearless and cruel and just scared the poor soul away. Regardless, it was fun.