{"id":15751,"date":"2011-10-20T12:48:33","date_gmt":"2011-10-20T10:48:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/?p=15751"},"modified":"2011-10-20T12:48:33","modified_gmt":"2011-10-20T10:48:33","slug":"parenting-a-terminally-ill-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/2011\/10\/20\/parenting-a-terminally-ill-child\/","title":{"rendered":"Parenting a terminally ill child"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

New York Times<\/a> runs a story by a mother who is parenting a terminally ill child. It is, obviously, very sad, but it is also encouraging and inspirational. Whether you are a parent or not, you should read this. You’ll have a glimpse on one more perspective.<\/p>\n

How do you parent without a net, without a future, knowing that you will lose your child, bit by torturous bit?<\/p>\n

Depressing? Sure. But not without wisdom, not without a profound understanding of the human experience or without hard-won lessons, forged through grief and helplessness and deeply committed love about how to be not just a mother or a father but how to be human.<\/p>\n

Parenting advice is, by its nature, future-directed.\u00a0I know. I read all the parenting magazines. During my pregnancy, I devoured every parenting guide I could find. My husband and I thought about a lot of questions they raised: will breast-feeding enhance his brain function? Will music class improve his cognitive skills? Will the right preschool help him get into the right college? I made lists. I planned and plotted and hoped. Future, future, future.<\/p>\n

We never thought about how we might parent a child for whom there is no future.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Via Matt<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\n

New York Times runs a story by a mother who is parenting a terminally ill child. It is, obviously, very sad, but it is also encouraging and inspirational. Whether you are a parent or not, you should read this. You’ll have a glimpse on one more perspective. How do you parent without a net, without … Continue reading Parenting a terminally ill child<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[350,1336,2420],"keyring_services":[],"class_list":["post-15751","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-health","tag-inspiration","tag-parenting"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8659,"url":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/2005\/02\/23\/new-category-parenting\/","url_meta":{"origin":15751,"position":0},"title":"New category ‘Parenting’","author":"Leonid Mamchenkov","date":"February 23, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"I think that it is pretty obvious that I will have a lot to say about being a parent and about having a kid in the near future. Not to mix all these posts into the 'Personal' category, I am creating a new one - 'Parenting'. Everything that I'll have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All"","block_context":{"text":"All","link":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9611,"url":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/2005\/10\/25\/one-of-those-parenting-deadends\/","url_meta":{"origin":15751,"position":1},"title":"One of those parenting deadends","author":"Leonid Mamchenkov","date":"October 25, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Parenting is a lot of fun and a lot of work. And while most of the work is routine, the truly difficult times are when a parent has to be creative to solve this or that problem. Teaching the kid a new trick or explaining a new concept - these\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All"","block_context":{"text":"All","link":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9068,"url":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/2005\/06\/12\/parenting-responsibilities\/","url_meta":{"origin":15751,"position":2},"title":"Parenting responsibilities","author":"Leonid Mamchenkov","date":"June 12, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"While being a father is all fun, there are, surely, some tough moments. For example, consider today. Timeline 4:00am - Last shot of vodka and beer at the birthday party. 4:15am - Home. Bed. 7:00am - Up to take Maxim for a walk. 10:00am - Back home. ... I was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All"","block_context":{"text":"All","link":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8746,"url":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/2005\/03\/27\/let-real-parenting-begin\/","url_meta":{"origin":15751,"position":3},"title":"Let real parenting begin","author":"Leonid Mamchenkov","date":"March 27, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"My mother left Cyprus and went back to Moscow, Russia today. She stayed with us for one month, from 27th of February, which was exactly the day Olga and Maxim left the clinic. This means that today is the first time Olga and I are left to all parenting wonders\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All"","block_context":{"text":"All","link":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8914,"url":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/2005\/04\/30\/parent-recognition-is-here\/","url_meta":{"origin":15751,"position":4},"title":"Parent recognition is here","author":"Leonid Mamchenkov","date":"April 30, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Many parenting books say that at the age of about two months a child starts to recognize family members. Some go as far as describe the reaction - smile and the rise of activity. But none of them can describe it properly and thus don't spoil the surprise. Yesterday, I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All"","block_context":{"text":"All","link":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10023,"url":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/2006\/03\/30\/parenting-coincidence\/","url_meta":{"origin":15751,"position":5},"title":"Parenting coincidence","author":"Leonid Mamchenkov","date":"March 30, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Just a few hours ago I wrote this entry (in Russian) about Maxim's first punishment. As bas as it was, I was all in hopes that it will eventually work. But not that I read the same technique used unsuccessfully by The Parent I am starting to have my doubts.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "All"","block_context":{"text":"All","link":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15751","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15751"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15751\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15751"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15751"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15751"},{"taxonomy":"keyring_services","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mamchenkov.net\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/keyring_services?post=15751"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}